Spoilers for the series finale of Game of Thrones below.
SANSA STARK: Where’s Jon?
GREY WORM: He is our prisoner.
SANSA STARK: So is Lord Tyrion. They were both to be brought to this gathering.
GREY WORM: We will decide what we do with our prisoners. This is our city now.
GREY WORM: Normally we immediately execute all our captured prisoners, but we decided to make an exception for the man who assassinated our Queen.
SANSA STARK: If you look outside the walls of your city, you’ll find thousands of Northmen who will explain to you why harming Jon Snow is not in your interest.
GREY WORM: And you will find thousands of Unsullied who believe that it is.
TYRION LANNISTER: And also thousands of Dothraki, who we kinda forgot about, but who probably just settled down and became peaceful farmers in a totally strange land after the death of the one person who has been able to unite them.
YARA GREYJOY: Some of you may be quick to forgive. The Ironborn are not. I swore to follow Daenerys Targaryen.
YARA GREYJOY: If there’s one thing the Ironborn are known for, it’s keeping subservient oaths made to foreign land-based rulers after they have served their purpose.
SANSA STARK: You swore to follow a tyrant.
YARA GREYJOY: She freed us from a tyrant. Cersei is gone because of her, and Jon Snow put a knife in her heart. Let the Unsullied give him what he deserves.
ARYA STARK: Say another word about killing my brother and I’ll cut your throat.
ARYA STARK: Though lately I’ve been reconsidering the whole killing thing. I’m into boats now.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: Friends, please. We’ve been cutting each other’s throats long enough. Torgo Nudho. Am I saying that properly? If it weren’t for you and your men, we would’ve lost the war with the dead.
ARYA STARK: Pretty sure there’s no “team” in “I solo-killed the Night King”. Tired of hard carrying these noobs.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: This country owes you a debt it can never repay, but let us try. There is land in the Reach. Good land.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: No butterflies at all.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: The people that used to live there are gone. Make it your own.
SAMWELL TARLY: Uh, not sure that belongs to you to give away, old man. Last I checked that’s House Tarly’s land now.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: Start your own house with the Unsullied as your bannermen.
GREY WORM: Start a house? You do know what it means to be a eunuch, right?
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: We’ve had enough war. Thousands of you, thousands of them. You know how it ends. We need to find a better way.
GREY WORM: We do not need payment. We need justice. Jon Snow cannot go free.
GREY WORM: Curse our bylaws preventing us from executing confessed regiciders.
TYRION LANNISTER: It’s not for you to decide.
BRAN STARK: For example, a new king friendly to Jon Snow might look to precedent involving a new king pardoning the man who ensured his rise to power by breaking his oaths and slaying his ruler for the greater good of King’s Landing. Or not.
GREY WORM: You are not here to speak! Everyone has heard enough words from you.
GREY WORM: I will tolerate only one more impassioned speech setting the course of the future of this land and deciding your own fate. Two, at most.
TYRION LANNISTER: You’re right. And no one’s any better for it. But it’s not for you to decide. Jon committed his crime here. His fate is for our king to decide. Or our queen.
YOHN ROYCE: We don’t have a king or queen.
TYRION LANNISTER: You’re the most powerful people in Westeros. Choose one.
GREY WORM: Make your choice, then.
EDMURE TULLY: This is it. My first scene in years. The show may have made me into a bumbling fool and then forgotten all about my family, but this is my chance for redemption.
EDMURE TULLY: My lords and ladies [CLEARS THROAT] I suppose this is the most important moment of our lives. What we decide today will reverberate through the annals of history. I stand before you as one of the senior lords in the country. A veteran of two wars. And I like to think my experience has led to some small skill in statecraft - and underst-
SANSA STARK: Uncle? Please sit.
YOHN ROYCE: Well, we have to choose someone.
SAMWELL TARLY: Um, ahem. Why just us? Um—we represent all the great houses, but whomever we choose, they won’t just rule over lords and ladies. Maybe the decision about what’s best for everyone should be left to well, everyone.
SAMWELL TARLY: They had this really good book in the Citadel by Maesters Marx and Engels. Plus I’ve been digging these ravencasts that House Chapo Trap is putting out.
EDMURE TULLY: Maybe we should give the dogs a vote as well.
YOHN ROYCE: I’ll ask my horse.
EDMURE TULLY: I suppose you want the crown.
TYRION LANNISTER: Me? The Imp? Half the people hate me for serving Daenerys, the other half hate me for betraying her. Can’t think of a worse choice.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: Who then?
PRINCE OF DORNE: We should listen to him as the representative of House Lannister, who I’m sure has gotten over that whole murdered half-his-family thing.
GENDRY BARATHEON: We should listen to him because there is definitely no massive slave army in our midst that is violently opposed to him.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: We should listen to him because he’s consistently shown himself to be a trustworthy person with no ulterior motives whatsoever.
YOHN ROYCE: We should listen to him because he murdered his nephew King Joffrey, murdered his father the Hand of the King, betrayed his realm to serve a foreign queen, and then conspired against that queen. A man who’s gotten all that treason out of his system is LESS likely to betray the realm than a man whose treasonous desires remain unsatisfied.
TYRION LANNISTER: I’ve had nothing to do but think these past few weeks. About our bloody history. About the mistakes we’ve made. What unites people? Armies? Gold? Flags? Stories. There’s nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. Nothing can stop it. No enemy can defeat it. And who has a better story than Bran the Broken?
SAMWELL TARLY: Or, you know, the guy that came back to life from the dead, the rightful heir to the Seven Kingdoms, the Prince that was Promised, Azor Ahai, the union of fire and ice, who lived his life under the lie that he was an unwanted bastard, a lie that both forged who he was and taught him that leadership is earned and not bestowed. The man who rose from ignominy to become Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, who assembled a force to defeat the greatest evil the world has ever known. I guess you’re right, not much of a story though.
TYRION LANNISTER: The boy who fell from a high tower and lived.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: Who?
TYRION LANNISTER: He knew he’d never walk again, so he learned to fly. He crossed beyond the Wall, a crippled boy, and became the Three-Eyed Raven.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: Who?
TYRION LANNISTER: He is our memory, the keeper of all our stories. The wars, weddings, births, massacres, famines. Our triumphs, our defeats, our past.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: What?
TYRION LANNISTER: Who better to lead us into the future?
TYRION LANNISTER: Plus he comes with his own chair, which is awfully convenient since Drogon melted the other one.
SANSA STARK: Bran has no interest in ruling and he can’t father children.
TYRION LANNISTER: Good. Sons of kings can be cruel and stupid, as you well know.
TYRION LANNISTER: Unlike actual kings, which are never cruel and stupid, especially not those with magical powers.
TYRION LANNISTER: His will never torment us.
TYRION LANNISTER: That’s why historically the most peaceful transitions of power always happen when kings die without heirs.
TYRION LANNISTER: That is the wheel our queen wanted to break. From now on, rulers will not be born. They will be chosen on this spot by the lords and ladies of Westeros to serve the realm.
TYRION LANNISTER: And if there’s one thing the Game of Thrones is all about, it’s that the lords and ladies of Westeros rarely disagree on who should sit the Iron Throne.
TYRION LANNISTER: I know you don’t want it. I know you don’t care about power. But I ask you now, if we choose you will you wear the crown? Will you lead the Seven Kingdoms to the best of your abilities from this day until your last day?
SAMWELL TARLY: Wait, does the Three-Eyed Raven actually ever die? Are we just appointing a King for all eternity? What if this was all-
BRAN STARK: Why do you think I came all this way?
BRAN STARK: Apparently I have been engineering the slaughter of tens of thousands so that I could manipulate you all into picking me to sit the Iron Throne for all eternity. Thanks bro, knew I could count on you.
TYRION LANNISTER: To Brandon of House Stark I say aye.
SAMWELL TARLY: Aye.
EDMURE TULLY: Aye.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: WHO IS THIS KID WHY WON’T ANYONE SAY ANYTHING AHHHHHHHHHHH
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: Aye.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: Aye.
YOHN ROYCE: Aye.
ROBIN ARRYN: Yeah idk what’s up with this Wheelchair Wikipedia but I’m good.
ROBIN ARRYN: Aye.
PRINCE OF DORNE: I am the Prince of Dorne (apparently). Our words are Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. For almost two hundred years after Aegon’s Landing, our people fought against the Targaryens and their dragons to maintain our independence. Tens of thousands died so that Dornishmen could be free.
PRINCE OF DORNE: Aye.
YARA GREYJOY: I am
AshaYara Greyjoy. I represent a proud people who have their own way of life. We pay the iron price. We worship only the Drowned God. We do not sow. And I made a pact with Daenerys that the Iron Islands would become independent and never again be subservient to the Iron Throne.
YARA GREYJOY: Aye.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: Aye.
UNNAMED COUNCIL PARTICIPANT: Aye.
GENDRY BARATHEON: I am Gendry Baratheon, legitimized son of the last legitimate King, Robert Baratheon. I should probably mention that at some point.
GENDRY BARATHEON: Aye.
SER DAVOS SEAWORTH: I’m not sure I get a vote, but aye.
SER BRIENNE OF TARTH: Aye.
SANSA STARK: My little brother is becoming ruler of all of Westeros. I should immediately undermine his authority.
SANSA STARK: I love you, little brother. I always will. You’ll be a good king. But tens of thousands of Northmen fell in the Great War defending all of Westeros. And those who survived have seen too much and fought too hard ever to kneel again. The North will remain an independent kingdom, as it was for thousands of years.
PRINCE OF DORNE: Wait, that was an option? Say something say something say something-
TYRION LANNISTER: All hail Bran the Broken,
PRINCE OF DORNE: Say something say something say something-
TYRION LANNISTER: First of His Name,
PRINCE OF DORNE: Say something say something say something-
TYRION LANNISTER: King of the Andals and the First Men,
PRINCE OF DORNE: Say something say something say something-
TYRION LANNISTER: Lord of the
PRINCE OF DORNE: SAYSOMETHINGSAYSOMETHINGSAYSOMETHING-
TYRION LANNISTER: Six Kingdoms
PRINCE OF DORNE: Damn, too late.
TYRION LANNISTER: and Protector of the Realm.
ALL: A Stark on the Iron Throne and also a Stark ruling the North separately. Voted on by a council with three Starks, a Stark cousin, a Stark uncle, Stark bannermen, and Jon Snow’s best friend. Works for me.
ALL: All hail Bran the Broken!
BRAN THE BROKEN: Lord Tyrion you will be my Hand.
GREY WORM: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE